aH, Valentine’s Day. Opportunities for love, romance and same day flower delivery. There are plenty of fun stories about the wonderful February 14th experience, including great gestures, thoughtful words, and chance encounters.
But sometimes it’s not fully planned. Guardian readers shared the worst Valentine’s Day story with us. If you’re feeling this February 14th, just think about it – at least you’re not dating someone you want at Interpol.
The answers are edited and condensed for clarity.
Lost fingertips
Twenty years ago, my husband, a 1.5 year old son and I lived in California. My husband was very kind and decided to make Valentine’s Day lunch with a ham sandwich. With the prosperity of the knife, he opened the plastic packaging of the ham. He also took off the top of one of his fingers. There was a lot of blood, so I ran around finding something to wrap my hands around. We weren’t fast enough and the dog ate it. The rest of the day was spent in the hospital.
Fiona, 58, British Columbia
The fourth charm
On a Valentine’s Day in college, I was dumped by my long-distance boyfriend on Zoom. On the phone, I opened the package he had sent me. It was a book about dating advice.
Three years later, my other partner and I booked a trip for Valentine’s Day. The day we were planning to leave, he said he had cancelled the reservation. When asked what he wanted to do instead, he said: “Stop looking at each other.”
Two days later, my long distance girlfriend and I were supposed to call each other and cook meals at the same time. I received a surprise delivery of ice cream and she cancelled our call. We parted ways.
In the end, my wife broke my curse and we have been enjoying many peaceful Valentine’s days together ever since.
Ellis, 28, MO
What’s cancelled
In the second grade, the teacher was so excited to give each other the Valentine’s cards that the teacher got mad at us. She began to tear all the cards in front of her class saying that Valentine’s Day had been cancelled. It’s extremely traumatic for a 7-year-old.
Michael, 75, Arizona
Healthy gifts
On my first Valentine’s Day after a six-month date, he gave me a protein bar and a box of pizza cutters.
JM, Illinois
“Is this from you?”
On Valentine’s Day 2021, I was sitting with my husband (my partner and father of a child) for nearly 20 years. I had just found a heart-shaped crispy bowl and was lovingly feeding him when his phone pinged. There was an image of Valentine’s Day cards and words: “Is this from you?” He had sent a Valentine’s Day card to a 23-year-old colleague. He is a young woman who was not born when we first met. The day didn’t end well. Our divorce will be finalized in the coming months.
Sarah, 54, Litham St. Anne’s
Interpol asked
I was dating a colleague and a little older than me, but I was quite older. He invited me to Madrid on Valentine’s weekend and I booked a lovely hotel. We flew on a Friday evening. On Saturday, we were stopped by two members of Interpol while sightseeing. They asked my partner for a long time and asked to look at his passport. My Spanish was at best basic, but from what I could collect, they thought he was a drug dealer. Later that afternoon we went to a massive art exhibition and realized we were being tracked.
That night we went to dinner and I probably commented on introducing him to my parents. However, we continued towards the plane until the next morning and eventually split.
He had a second driver’s license with another name in his wallet, so who knows who he is?
Anonymous
Severe love
Back in the 1970s, I was working in a public library. This was my first job after leaving library school. I knew it all and thought it wasn’t popular with my fellow workers. There was one girl I had rather fantasized about and she called me on Valentine’s Day and said she wanted to go out for lunch with me. I was enthusiastically waiting for her to appear on the stairs of the library. And waited. And waited. I kept watching my colleagues laugh in the background. Eventually I realized they organized this “date” and knocked me down to the pegs.
Iain, 77, Guisborough
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ex-factor
Ten years ago, me and my then partner lived in separate countries, so I was just about to transition to her. To surprise her there was a romantic idea to take off on Valentine’s Day, which fell on Friday. I waited on the grass outside the hospital where she worked, dreaming of her joy. She was surprised, but in no way. She made some excuses about being tired after the shift, but I understood. I felt like watering. Later that day, when she was still in a strange mood, I pushed her and found out she had arranged for her ex-girlfriend to come that weekend and come with her.
Anonymous
Nudie noodles
My partner said he was going to cook a meal for me: starters and pudding, pieces! I arrived home from work around 6:30pm and was surprised to see the kitchen when I left the kitchen. There are no signs of shopping or cooking. And there are no signs of him.
I went upstairs and entered the bedroom. He sat naked in the bed and ate pot noodles. He said there was one in the kitchen for me. Apparently, on the way to the shopping he met up with his peers and they spent the day in the pub.
Rachel, 63, Blackford
It’s not a toilet…
My boyfriend and I had lived with our relationship for three years. His favourite band was playing in town on Valentine’s nights. Rather than staying with me or getting a ticket, he went to see the concert and left me at home himself.
I enjoyed peace and tranquility. That is until I wake up and find him drunk and urinating in the corner of the room. I marched him to sleep on the couch. He didn’t remember the next morning. That was our last Valentine’s Day.
Anonymous
There is a stripper pole
I’ve been ER twice on Valentine’s Day. For the first time, I was attending a single-only party at a friend’s house. This friend installed a stripper pole in her living room. At one point I woke it around on my way to the kitchen for another drink. I didn’t swing enough to tow the pole and keep going straight. I smashed my head against the corner of the coffee table and tore my ears in half.
Second time I was in a long distance relationship and was about to use one of those mold kits so I was able to send her a private copy of me. I was naked except for the rings around my parts to keep everything in place. I used a dip blender to mix the mold ingredients. It got too thick so I stuffed it with a blender. I neglected to remove the blender before cleaning the blade with my thumb. I managed to wrap my hands in a towel, put on my clothes and had my roomy take me to the hospital for stitching. I didn’t notice the ring still on until I got home.
Will, California
Everything is well done
My husband and I were preparing to go out for dinner. While he was in the shower, I went to put my sweet Valentine’s Day card on his desk. His computer had an email that he had just sent to the woman he had been sending. When he was confronted about it, he lied. That was the end of Valentine’s Day and the end of our marriage.
I’m now remarried to a much more kinder, younger, more handsome, more raised man, so I want to send a thank you note to my ex on every Valentine’s Day!
Margaret, 55, California
