What is the best advice you have ever received?
There’s a quote I first heard from RuPaul: “What other people think of you doesn’t matter to you.” It’s something that has helped me load up over the years. I get a lot of bad things from the far right, but I think if I hadn’t remembered those words, I might have been more bothered from time to time. And I like this quote because it doesn’t mean “ignore what others say.” It’s almost like blaming you – it’s none of your business. I think that would make it much easier to live in the world without worrying about what other people think.
Do you have a nemesis?
There’s a right-wing Christian group called the Iona Institute, which is at the forefront of all kinds of regressive movements in Ireland, such as anti-abortion and anti-same-sex marriage. Famously, they threatened me with defamation over something I said about them on national broadcaster RTÉ 11 years ago, and RTÉ apologized and paid a large sum of money in damages – quite a lot. It became a scandal. I don’t want to make a big deal out of calling them my sworn enemies, but I’ll take any opportunity to let people know what kind of guys I think they are.
Where in the world would you most like to visit?
Tokyo. After graduating from university, I moved to Tokyo in my 20s. Back in the mid-90s, Ireland was a pretty tough place to be queer. Homosexuality remained a crime. So I thought, “I want to get out of this backwards shithole!” I went to the library, pulled out an encyclopedia, and looked up the largest cities, and found Mexico City and Tokyo. I heard that you can teach English in Tokyo. I had also read Paul Theroux’s book about train travel in China, so I thought, “Let’s go on the adventure of a lifetime. Let’s take the train to Tokyo and then take the Siberian Express.” So I went to Tokyo and lived there for four and a half years. I loved everything about it. I still love this place, but I don’t get to visit it as often as I would like. I have many special memories in Tokyo. Things like exploring the world and doing wild things, taking drugs and being silly, and becoming a professional drag queen for the first time.
You own two bars in Dublin. What is your favorite chip?
As you know, I’m actually a pretty boring drinker, having owned two bars and worked in places that sold alcohol most of my life. I prefer a regular pilsner or lager, which is bland and not very tasty. I don’t like drinking pints when I’m on drugs. My hands look small, which is not very attractive, so I drink a gin and tonic. My attractive American aunt always drank gin and tonics.
What’s your most disgusting run-in with a celebrity?
I don’t generally fuss too much about celebrities. The only celebrity that drives me insane is Dolly Parton. she is my everything But once I spent two hours with Madonna in an empty restaurant. We were attending a funeral in the Dublin Mountains and after the church service, it was just me and my two friends who skipped the cemetery part, and my girlfriend and her two friends. Arrive at the hotel 2 hours before everyone else. She knew my brother, so she came up to me and said, “Can I know you?” She was fun, but the default setting is something like “joking woman.”
What’s a bit annoying is that when my friend Sergio needed a ride back to Dublin, I was like a mother and said, “Madonna, you’re going to give Sergio a ride into town, okay?” That’s what I said. There’s plenty of space in that car! ” Madonna said, “Oh, we came from Dublin International Airport.” And I said, “Oh, he’s on his way. You can drop him off on the way. It’s perfect.” To be fair to Madonna, she gave Sergio a ride into town.
What is your biggest petty complaint?
This is a message for Australians. Shut up about the coffee. Like, everything has become so tedious. Everyone has their own rules and it has to be like this. You can watch a 20-minute video on YouTube where someone shows you how to make filter coffee. I went too far. I’ve been using a moka pot (espresso on the stovetop) every morning for the past 20-odd years, and it’s absolutely perfect. But whether you fill it with boiling water or room temperature water, it doesn’t really matter. Burn the coffee. Anyway, if you add a little milk or sugar, no one can even taste the coffee. Everyone needs to calm this shit down. It’s just a drink that half the world drinks, stop it.
What book/album/movie do you always come back to and why?
1969 movie “Miss Jean Brody’s Prime.” Maggie Smith won an Oscar for this work, and everything about this film was perfect. Especially Maggie, of course, but also her clothes, costumes, and the throwaway lines she says. That’s very quotable. I have four different versions of the poster in my living room. Muriel Spark’s books are also great. When Panty is working on a big project with someone new, we always make sure they go see the movie first. Because if they haven’t seen the movie, they don’t get half of my references. A lot about Panty comes from Maggie Smith in this movie – the way she dresses, the way she carries herself, the way she carries herself.
What is your most controversial opinion on pop culture?
Beyonce is not a very good singer. She is an incredible performer and one of the best live performers ever. And yes, she hits every note. But there’s no crack in her voice to let the light in. Everything is so perfect. It has this hard sheen that I can’t fall in love with. So, I’m going to watch all her live performances – she’s great – but do you think anyone else can sing better? Yes, that’s right. Gay people will never forgive me, but that’s how I feel.
If you had to fight a celebrity, who would you fight, how would you fight, and who would win?
Bindi Irwin, Jerry Wrestling, and I would win. Apparently she is a healthy young woman who is used to wrestling with koalas and crocodiles. I know how the Irwins are viewed in Australia, but I think if you’re going to do it, it’s better to create a buzz, and I think Australia will be glued to the game. And I think we should do jelly wrestling. Because about 15 years ago I went to a gay nightclub in Brisbane on a Tuesday night and there were literally seven people there and they were enjoying a night of jelly wrestling. I had to wrestle a young lesbian and I won. It’s a nostalgic memory.
What song would you like to be played at your funeral?
Dolly Parton’s “Little Sparrow.” This song is from her bluegrass album. It’s painfully beautiful. And people will be screaming out their eyes behind the dramatic black veil, it’s better to wear it.
